i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
you inspire me to be a worse person
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
