Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
