dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
