i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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