i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
