Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
