I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
