You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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