he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
