worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
