1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
