whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
