I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
