She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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