they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
