She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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