Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
