if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
