I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
