No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
