you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
