Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
