Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
