Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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