So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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