I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
