i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
