I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
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