Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
