absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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