I accidentally burped into my bong.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
