Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Randomize
