I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
