oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
