Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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