A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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