I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
