The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
