ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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