Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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