lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize