Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
