dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
