im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
