I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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