saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
So squirting runs in the family.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Pooping to opera.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
