Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
