Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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