Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
