you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize