yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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