If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
i need some magic done to my vagina
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
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