Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
