There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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