Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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