It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
We got so high we made milksteak
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
