I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
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