I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Randomize
