he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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