also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize