So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
they call him Oral-B. enough said
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
